Channeling Grief after Henry

Who is Lovey McGrubbins?

Grieving parents like me spend many hours thinking about all the things their child is missing. I wish Henry were enjoying his junior year of college surrounded by friends. I wonder what stories he’d share over school breaks with our family.

We try to extend our children’s lives through our actions. Since Henry can’t be here to work the polls, I will be an election worker in his place. He can’t visit his favorite summer camp, so I will support his camp. We want to create something new on their behalf. 

A great example of this creation comes from my friend Adam Cushman. Adam joined my grief support group after losing his daughter. Kiera Simone Cushman died on January 24, 2023 at the age of 19. Adam creates and connects with Kiera each day in many ways. 

Adam is inspiring other grieving parents to “think bigger” and include their community as they work to honor their child. He’s also inspired me to try connecting with Henry on a spiritual level. 

Connecting through art 

Lovey McGrubbins is the name of the whimsical pink creature you see above. Kiera created Lovey along with other inspired drawings and poems. As Adam searched for ways to cultivate his connection to Kiera, he turned to her art. He turned to Lovey.

Adam printed Lovey’s image onto stickers, gave them to friends and family, and watched as Kiera’s art began popping up across Los Angeles and beyond. You can find her work stuck to phones, windshields, walls, poles, trail signs, and planters. Check out the photos on Instagram. 

Thinning the veil

Adam believes we can all “thin the veil” between ourselves and loved ones who’ve died. Thinning the veil means finding a level of consciousness where each side can communicate with each other. “Once you’re conscious that the veil is thin, it can be flattened,” he explains. Kiera is guiding her dad. 

Before I lost Henry, I didn’t believe you could thin the veil, if it even existed. It seemed to me that a wall separated the living and the dead. Not anymore. I feel Henry’s spirit and presence in many ways. Is anyone really in a position to argue with me? The origin and evolution of existence is opaque.

Adam shares his thoughts

“It became a way for me to keep her active in the physical world. It started when I saw a legitimate medium. She told me Kiera wants me to curate her art. In some sense, I’d been doing that with the tattoos I got. I had none before she advanced. Now I have thirteen and they’re all in some way inspired by her, her art, or things she loved.

Kiera was/is a deeply compassionate soul. So each time I place a sticker up, it’s to spread that love and continue to give her a voice in this world. Lovey’s motto is ‘if you see me, it means you are loved.’ I’ve started to create stickers out of her other drawings as well. I’ll place them around the globe as long as I’m on it. I know it gives my family a moment of, I don’t know the word, maybe peace, when they see it. A gentle reminder that she’s here with us in a way we might not fully understand, or might not be meant to fully understand yet. 

I’m just the vessel. She works through me. I’ve been talking to her ever since. She tells me she loves what we’re doing. Every time I place a sticker, I imagine her doing it and it makes me feel closer to her, even for a moment.” 

Creating something new 

Adam continues to create for Kiera. He’s working on a book called “Where the Stars Meet” that will feature Kiera’s drawings, channeled poems, and landscapes drawn by her sister. 

Adam believes signals are everywhere if you look.

“Two days ago in Rome I was putting up stickers everywhere. I sometimes take a picture and often I put them up on the fly. I looked at this one below the next day and noticed her initials right in front of me. KSC. I hadn’t seen that when I put it up. What are the chances?”

“A few months ago Kiera said to tape dollar bills to the unpeeled stickers, write a loving or thoughtful note, and leave it somewhere to be found. She wants to brighten people’s day, even for a moment.”

I hope Kiera’s art can brighten your day. 

You can learn more about Kiera here.

Heart-shaped eyes

Heart-shaped head

Straight into my

heart-shaped disguise

She sparkles

She glows

Leaving rainbow trailways

Wherever she goes

Girl’s got kindness eyes

A heart-shaped face

Oops, she just got here

Watch her light up the whole place

— Kiera Cushman